Last night, while waiting for Glee to come on at 11 p.m., I watched She’s Out of My League on HBO. While I wasn’t expecting the movie to be great, I definitely did not expect to learn something from it.
So, in the movie, Kirk is an average guy leading an average life and a self-proclaimed loser. He meets Molly, a beautiful and successful event planner, and is surprised to find that she is actually into him. He finds it difficult to believe that ‘a hard ten’ would be interested in a ‘five’. More importantly, his friends and family also tell him that it is definitely not going to work out and that she’s out of his league. So, yeah, the predictable happens when they break up because of his lack of confidence (caused largely by outside influence). Meanwhile, Stainer (Kirk’s friend) believes that Kirk and Molly are doomed because he was once in love with a girl who was a ten while he rated a seven on his best day. However, when he actually asks this girl why she broke up with him, she tells him that it was because she got tired of his lack of confidence and the fact that he didn’t believe it was going to work out. He, then, realises the error of his ways and (along with his other friends) gets Kirk and Molly together for the inevitable ‘happily ever after’.
On the self in relation to others: What struck me was how much I define myself in terms of what other people think of me. I believe something is impossible only because someone else tells me so. I believe that I am being stupid because someone else tells me I am. I believe that xyz cannot be in love with me because someone else tells me so. I don’t do what I want to do because others tell me it is foolish or that I am being naive.
Lesson learnt: I think I can’t because others tell me I can’t, not because I know I can’t.
On truth: I form pre-conceived notions based on others’ experiences or rather, their perceptions of their experiences. The truth may actually be different from how it is perceived. How someone else perceives the truth depends on too many variables for it to be applicable across the board.
Lesson learnt: There is no absolute truth. It is too relative and subjective for it to be absolute.
On self-fulfilling prophecies: I realised that, a lot of times, things do not work out because I believe they will not work out. Since, I have a defeatist attitude from the beginning, I do not bother to put in much effort or try enough when things go even a little awry. Of course, there are times when despite my best effort, things don’t work out, but mostly, they don’t because I decided in the beginning that they won’t. I may even sabotage them at a subconscious level.
Lesson learnt: In most cases, things don’t work out because I believe they won’t/ can’t. I lose the battle even before I start fighting it.