Nowadays, when I wake up, I look forward to what the day has to bring. Every day is a new day with a host of different possibilities and opportunities- some of which I notice but ignore, some of which I grab and some of which completely pass me by. Mostly, I am happy with how my days go, but sometimes, something happens which completely fazes me. For example, today, while taking my customary walk in the park, I dropped my phone and temporarily lost it. A year back, I would have been miserable about it for days. Today, I got extremely annoyed with myself but accepted it and took it as an opportunity to go without a phone for an indefinite amount of time. I have been wanting to untether from my cellphone for a while now and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to me. As always, life had other plans for me and some kind and decent soul restored my faith in humanity by returning it to me. A quick dash to the park after dinner, a small tip to the chap in gratitude and a handshake later, I was in possession of my phone again, happy with the way things had turned out for me.
I find myself filled with wonder at the capriciousness of life. My life changes on a daily basis- sometimes things go well and sometimes they don’t. When things don’t go too well, I just shrug it off and figure that something better will come along. In that sense, I find my life interesting. I find the world full of endless possibilities and believe that things will work out. I have let go of whatever little control I thought I had over my life and just take things as they come. Some might consider it foolish, but I find this experiment working for me.
For a while now, I have been wondering whether life is meant to be taken all that seriously. I have always taken my life very seriously and have always thought that I could control how things turn out for me by giving myself some semblance of security. As I find myself relaxing about life and taking things in their stride, somehow, it seems to make a lot more sense now. I really have no control over how things work out when other people are involved. Unless, I move to the mountains or the beach and live a life of complete seclusion, I have to deal with fellow human beings. I have no control over what others think and do and that is how it should be. However, that automatically reduces my control over my life in so far as it is related to other people. Instead of fretting over it as I was wont to do, I now find myself revelling in the uncertainty of it all.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I have no idea what the next hour will bring. All I know is that whatever it brings, I will be prepared for it- good, bad or ugly. In that sense, I have supreme confidence in myself and my abilities to overcome whatever hurdles I might find along the way. I don’t know where this confidence comes from but if I had to hazard a guess, it would be that it comes from this sense of feeling complete and whole.
I really really like myself. I like where my life is headed and all the possibilities which I have now become aware of. I like how the world feels like it is mine to conquer and how I feel 18 again. I like my positive attitude and my ability to smile at pretty much anything. Granted, nothing really major has happened, but I am confident that if something major happens, I will find myself smiling again very soon after the event.
Life works in really mysterious ways and I find myself embracing it as opposed to fighting it. Perhaps, that is the secret to happiness?
I feel alive. I feel free.